All tagged faith

Dealing with Doubt

I’m going to take a minute to get a little personal and talk about an internal struggle I occasionally have. It’s the issue of doubt. But here’s the ray of hope: your doubt does not define you.

Something interesting popped up on my Facebook memories yesterday, a picture I’d completely forgotten about in the 10 years since I posted it. It may not look like much to you, but there’s a bigger story behind it.

It’s a brand new year, and that means brand new goals. We’re supposed to make goals. We’re supposed to share them. We’re supposed to stress over them. And we’re supposed to fizzle out in mid-February. No? Just me? Oh… well then.

You are a person. Actual and whole. Though your body is small and your personality meek, your soul is so big. God has known you for awhile and has created your beautiful soul in the image of His own. You are His child. We just get to watch you for a little while.

If you've spent any amount of time with us, you know fostering/parenting has taught us a whole slew of things. I thought I was pretty awesome before fostering, and now I'm re-realizing just how sinful I still am. The Lord has revealed to me the hidden sins of my heart and just how deeply rooted they are. Every single day is a battle and I am in awe of you parents who have been in this for years.

I've always been told that when you become a parent, you learn things about God that you might never see otherwise. I have certainly found that to be true, but what I didn't expect was the lessons I would learn about myself.

After three miscarriages, that becomes your new norm. Not that you look forward to losing your child, but it's what you're "comfortable" in. You brace yourself when you go to the doctor and tell yourself, "It'll be ok if he's dead, it'll be ok if he's dead..." Your mind looks for new signs/symptoms every day to prepare yourself for the worst.